How can I make this private?

The past few weeks had been a total 360 degrees spin for me. Seems like its only filled with anger, disappointment, humiliation, pressure, pain and friendship trouble. And not to mention I was scolded as a pig during examination. Its hurts to type this out, but as I promised to J, if I don't type out I'm gonna have a total mental breakdown anytime. Duh how I wish I could just went back to 4 years 2 months ago to turn back time and fix all the mistakes I've done through out my secondary education. And yes, I am now suffering the consequnces, indeed been suffering for the past 2 years, of those individuals who were hurt deeply my harsh words and blunt comments. And for the past two weeks, I received real pay back. Oh how I wish I would just die of humiliation. How would you feel to have your best friends saying you're a spendrift person? Or calling you a pig? Or making a statement of what you did whom you hurt and trying to do the same thing to you?

And when it comes to a friendship of 3 friends that had gone a long way since then(I'm just telling a story), they started tearing apart each other's life. Friend A don't likes Friend B, Friend A complaint to Friend C, secretly Friends B and C dislike Friend A, one day Friend B reports to Friend A... And that will be the day the friends are no longer friends anymore. They began to backstab each other, and as time passed, they cant believing in each other anymore, they grew apart, and poof! The whole BFF thing is gone.

Talk about humiliation, when I was in library today, something which I've only seen in TV happened to me, in real life. As I was in the dark corner of the library, Abg walked past me with Prsc. About two steps from my seat, of which I saw them through the reflection of book case's mirror. P said to Ab, "You know what? I just asked Ms. Lim..she said none of us failed in add maths..well except for..kkw...*giggles*"
And guess what, I just can't pretend nothing happened. She turned around and saw me. For you, Prsc, ever heard of the phrase sorry no cure? Your apologize just wont work for me, thank you very much. And I can't deny that my results suck this term, as I still haven't take any tuition then, thank you very much again. I'm gonna prove to, not just you, but to all those around me who's willing to show some care...that you won't see me failing anymore. And one more thing, prepare yourself, God won't let you get away with this easily either.


Fellow readers of this post, pologize from me, if you find this post out of sequence. I believed its is hard to understand and my language skill is totally out of order today. I'm sorry. I just can't take it anymore. How I wished I can just cry into my pillows.